A Poem about Calcium Carbonate

As promised on Twitter, here is my calcium carbonate poem.

This was not a task for English, but for chemistry instead.
This might prove to some that I am not an airhead! 😉

Tums

Calcium carbonate 500mgs
Plus glucose, fruit flavours and a couple of Es.
Packed into round tablets, they look quite a treat.
Rolled into a tube, all ready to eat.

Calcium supplement if you are deficient,
Antacid if your stomach’s a bit too efficient
at acid production. It can be quite a pain.
Acid reflux, or heartburn can be calmed down again.

The name of the product you should definitely choose
Is Tums. You’ve really got nothing to lose!
Buy them at a pharmacy, a pack of 75.
Without acid reflux, you’ll feel alive!

Constipation and nausea are minor side effects,
But think of the oesophagus that it protects!
Suitable for children aged over six,
Be sure to speak to any relevant medics.

Sponsored by GlaxoSmithKline

(Note: Poem not sponsored by GSK!)

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6 Responses to “A Poem about Calcium Carbonate”

  1. J January 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm #

    (Just found your blog through the BlagHag, apologies for commenting an old posting)

    You definitely have talent, I would *love* to see what you and the Amateur Transplants could come up with together 🙂

  2. Alice January 12, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Great poem, Rhys!

    It does surprise me that changing one’s diet is somehow supposed to be more “holistic” and “looking at the whole person” than modern medicine. As for blind faith – that is exactly why science has things like experiments, and “Nullis in Verba” as a motto for the Royal Society, so that faith need not come into it at all. But I am really pleased to hear you’re better, Sheep.

  3. Sheep December 18, 2010 at 2:58 am #

    Many spelling and grammatical errors in my posting. I was editing it when it posted. I was trying to fix that it is 15,000 deaths a month in hospitals for Medicare patients.

  4. Sheep December 18, 2010 at 2:56 am #

    Hi Rys,

    I was diagnosed with Crohn’s at age 19 ( I am now 37). They said I had had it since I was 10. I took the so-called modern medicine prednisone. Cure was worse than the illness. I noticed you all seem to have so much faith in modern science. I read all of the mainstream as well as alternative news articles (two of my favorites are msn and dr. mercola). On msn’s own website you can see how modern medicine is just as much if not more “snake oil” than alternative medicine. A month ago, I read an article on msn about how 15,000 Medicare patients die EVERYfrom preventable hospital-related mistakes. Over 100,000 patients die each year from correctly taking prescription drugs — not abuse. If you read the side effects (in effect the poisoning of your body) they are way worse than the ones I saw on the FDA warning site for MMS. A lot of the commercials say possible kidney, liver, pancreas damage or stroke or heart attach risk. Cleary poisons to your body. The side effects for MMS were nausea, diarrhea, vomitting, and possible dehydration. I am not saying to believe in MMS or any other alternative medicine, but I am also saying do not put your blind faith in modern medicine and science. I think when people look back on this time period, those from the future will think that we were in the dark ages as far as health and medicine. Most doctors only prescribe medicine or do surgery — but we a whole organism and if something is wrong in one part of the body, we need to look at the whole person and see what might be going wrong — food or environmental exposures. I have changed my diet significantly, and I can say that I feel 100% better. I wish you luck in your journey of health and wellness.

  5. Inès Ortega (Clauni) December 14, 2010 at 6:21 pm #

    ¡Great poem, Rhys! Rhymed and everything. God bless you.

    You should follow this one of my granddaughters, I guess you could be good friends, she speaks english perfectly, attends bi-lingual school, very smart, 15, she already knows about you and your achievements: @groove_slam_wib

  6. A Rodent December 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm #

    That is excellent, Rhys.
    You are a clever little bunny, aren’t you.

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